Viewpoints: Femme

I will shout it from the rooftops: I LOVE femmes. I have mentioned my wife a few times in this blog; she is a femme, and I love that about her. There is something so classy about femmes, particularly my wife, that makes me want to be a better gentleman.

Who is a Femme?

When dealing with labels like these (butch, trans, femme, queer, etc.) it’s difficult to nail down a concrete definition. Everyone has a different take on what makes a femme a femme, so I hesitate to articulate a definition that excludes anyone. That being said, I define femme as a person (regardless of sex or gender) who embraces femininity in aspects of their appearance, relationships, etc: hence, femme.

Femme is traditionally considered a “queer” term, or, a term that is rooted in the LGBTIQ community. Some women, for instance, identifies as a queer femmes, as they are attracted to masculine identified people (butches, transmen, transmasculine people, and beyond). There are gay males who identify as femme, femme lesbians, femme gender non-conforming people. Femme is, at its core, an expression of gender.

Why do I love Femmes?

Where do I begin?! Something about a femme brings out the best in my masculinity. I love opening doors for my wife, I love watching her spend 30 minutes doing her makeup, and another 30 doing her hair, I even love the huge shoe collection that is taking over our closet. Something about those types of things make me feel even more…me. My wife inspires me to be a gentleman.

Considerations for Transmen

When I began considering transitioning, I was always afraid the effect transitioning would have on femmes. I feared the women I loved so much, including my wife, would not be attracted to me if I was male. Turns out, my fear was baseless. I believe this had something to do with my comfort level once I started T, and the fact that I was still me. Of course, I can’t speak for all femmes, of course. But, if you’re considering transition, and worried that femmes will no longer look at you the same way – this isn’t necessarily true. There are femmes out there that are attracted to transmen! And thank goodness too…

So, I want to thank all the femmes out there, inspiring masculine people like me, to be ourselves. Particularly, I want to thank my wife, for always accepting and loving me, and giving me someone to open doors for.

And now, here’s author Ivan Coyote on the topic:

About Mason

Mason is a Trans-identified, Jewish, lawyer, living in Northern New England. Born and raised in Orange County, California, Mason never felt like he fit into the feminine roles he was expected to embrace. He came out as Trans in 2005, and began transitioning from female-to-male in May 2011. Mason graduated from Western Oregon University in 2007 with a degree in Criminal Justice, before moving to the East Coast. In 2008, Mason married his wife, Lauren, in Massachusetts. Prior to law school, Mason worked in criminal justice and served as a director with TransMentors International Inc. In 2009, Mason began law school, where he has been awarded the Albert Schweitzer Fellowship and a Public Interest Coalition Fellowship for his work in gender diversity education. Currently, Mason works with the New Hampshire Coalition for Transgender Equality, and lectures in the New England region about Trans identities, rights, and awareness.

Posted on September 1, 2011, in Romance, Viewpoints and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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